SOMETHING FUNNY...!!!

A husband is one who lays down the law to his wife and then accepts all
the amendments.

Sometimes a majority simply means that all the fools are on the same side.

A person with one watch knows what time it is; a person with two is never
sure.

Life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced
than ours.

The human brain is like a freight car-guaranteed to have a certain capacity
but often running empty.

Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today. After all, if you enjoy it
today, you can do it again tomorrow.

The secret of patience is to find something else to do in the meantime.

Nothing is impossible if you don't have to do it yourself.

A boss is a person who comes in early to see who comes in late.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

The green light is the signal for the driver behind you to start honking
his horn.

There are two things in life for which we are never fully prepared:TWINS.

Did you ever notice that there is no egg in an egg-plant, no ham in a
hamburger and neither apple nor pine in a pineapple ?

The best way to entertain some folks is to sit down and listen to them.

There isn't much to talk about at some parties- at least until one or two
couples have left.

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations that
require wisdom to get out of.

Most people realize that they can't afford an automobile- so they buy two.

Remember when you used to put your kids to sleep with bedtime stories?
Now they come in at bedtime and tell you stories that keep you awake
all night.