DO NOT PUNISH THEM, THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN...

My life is centered more around children of age group 12 to 16 as I am a private tutor for highschool students. During 13 years of my tutorship I kept on observing and studying the other face of my students which one might not be interested in if the sole concentration is on studies and the contents of the syllabus. My experiences with the parents' attitudes, expectations they consciously or subconsciously bring up in their hearts regarding the future of their children, discipline they want in their children and efforts they put in to make their child capable of sustaining the pressure of competition, etc. have revealed one important truth which I cannot afford to ignore.
All parents have one common dream of seeing their children make bright future. One cannot deny that as parents we have that right to dream and there is nothing wrong. What goes wrong is our approach to see our dream come true. In an attempt to convert the dream in reality we sometimes forget some realities and, in turn, do injustice to our own children. Before judging your child from what he / she achieves or fails to achieve in academic examination, please keep in mind the following important facts :

1. All children cannot be at the top spot in the class.
   
   
2. A child may have difficulty following a particular subject. That does not render him / her dull by all means.
   
   
3. In this age of fast developing world one must get proper education but that does not guarantee success.
   
   
4. Success or failure in school examinations do not establish a permanent profile of life.
   
   
5. Forceful accomplishment of an assignment does not induce true learning process and at times induces rebellion and dishonesty in child which is supposed to have more harmful consequences in future.
   
   
6. Scolding your child in presence of others for any fault or misbehaviour is an insult which may induce suicidal thoughts in his / her mind or may make a child violent.
   
   
7. Do not compare your child's performance with that of other children to show that he / she is inferior to those with
   better performance on record card.
   
   
8. Each child is a unique human being and a human being needs to be respected by other people around. See that your child's identity is not suppressed under the burden of the race to become special.
   
   
9. If you know or feel that your child may not flourish in a particular field of your choice, accept the reality honestly and find out which field may suit him / her better. Let your child have the freedom to choose with your guidence.
   
   
10. There are people who have achieved great success in real life and were actually failures in studies. There are people who achieved ranks in school and could not repeat the same in real life.
    

As parents at home or as a teacher at school refrain from physical punishment for non-performance, mischiefs or indiscipline and try to get rid of such negative attitude by treating your child as softly as possible. A child needs to be loved by parents, by teachers, by all around and readily follows those who show affection towards him / her. You must remember that you once were a child and you, too, did not like someone dominating you or punishing you . Similarly, your child is most likely to react negatively if punished or dominated. Whenever my students fail to perform or misbehave I try to touch their heart by giving real examples of how a life was ruined due to negligence of a student on his part during this important phase of life. I have never slapped my sons; I would never beat someone else's child. My advice is : Do not punish them, they are your children.